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Thursday, February 5th, 2004
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5:28 pm - moving day
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| Monday, February 2nd, 2004
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2:23 am - life goes full circle
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life goes full circle
or at least my livejournal does.
i posted when the pats won two years ago.
i post again now.
where was i then?
i don't even remember... things are much different now.
older? wiser? more mature? who knows.
life goes full circle.
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| Monday, December 22nd, 2003
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11:57 pm - brian made me do this
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made burgers today
from omaha, nebraska
alarm went off using the george foreman grill
ripped out the smoke detector
if there's a fire i'm screwed
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| Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003
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10:54 am - work
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| Monday, March 17th, 2003
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2:31 am - long week...
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can't wait until spring break. it's been a busy week. organized a taiwanese culture week that wasn't really well organized, but came out well in the end. then had a bunch of midterms that i probably failed... looks like it's going to be a fun rest of the semester. i don't want to graduate. :-(
-rich
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| Wednesday, February 6th, 2002
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8:44 am - work...
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my motivation to do work has fallen like a piece of doo doo. yesterday, i sat around staring at my computer, trying to figure out what long-term projects i had to do, but couldn't think of anything that warranted doing then. hence, one day later, i still have those same projects, but i still don't know where to start. now i have to go to class, with homework still needing to be done, but no will to do it. i have a feeling that i'm gonna be screwed soon (in one way or another), and it's gonna hurt... bad.
on another shitty note, i pulled my already aggrevated muscle in my back. i can't tie my shoes anymore or sit up without feeling in pain. i guess i'll go see the doctor at some point. now i can't play b-ball anymore... and i'm the captain! agggh.
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| Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
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11:32 pm - whoops...
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12:23 pm - supeEERRR BOWWWLLL!
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pats are playing today. if they win, i'm gonna jizz in my pants.
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| Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
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9:56 am - viagra
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found a package of viagra outside my dorm entrance yesterday, right on top of the campus telephone. of course all the pills had been used, but it was disturbing. my suitemate and i speculated that someone obviously needed some pre-excitement before the final booty call. i can imagine that the viagra probably had some weird effects... i read in maxim that some dude had an erection forever because he took some viagra substitute pills. then they had to inject his dick with a long needle to calm the boy down. now it can't rise to the occasion anymore. just a warning to all of you who think that viagra is good for you and your member. just a warning... ;-)
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2:04 am - weird dream
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i had a weird dream when i took a nap this afternoon. it was a well needed nap, so i slept really deeply. whenever this happens i seem to have dreams that have sequences that seem to match, but are pretty random. anyways, in my dream i was living in some large dorm like place with this garage type window. i wanted to let in some air, i opened it up by pushing this very distinct small button. but after i did this, all these people started walking through my room to get to the hallway through my room's door. i got pissed off so i tried pushing the button again, and these dudes tried to prevent me. but instead i started beating them up and everything, and i remember i started beating the crap out of everyone who tried coming through, at some points dragging them along and punching them into they turned into pulp. i remember specifically dragging some dude along this long corridor of tiled floor. scary huh?
then in another part of the dream, i was looking over this ledge into some river, but none of the water was moving. it was just brown and wasn't moving at all. in fact there were islands of froth on it, but that wasn't moving either. it was outside, but the sun seemed kind of fake (since the lighting was all weird). then i remember looking to my left, seeing a group of girls. then i walked around them and saw this girl sitting down and i looked at her shoes which were new balance shoes that my gf wears. so i hug her from behind, and i recognize her as my gf, but it's not her because her body's different and she's taller than me. i feel so nice being next to her and i can feel her touch... then i wake up. and i'm sad. :-(
ah well, i'm happy my dreams are coming back! but they're kind of depressing...
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| Thursday, January 31st, 2002
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4:37 pm - freaky thing...
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forgot to mention that i was woken up from that dream when the poster that amelia gave me fell from my wall. pretty freaky. maybe not. but i was freaked out by the noise when i woke up. ;-)
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4:19 pm - zzz...
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last night i slept really well. i was up until 3 am, finishing up my previous livejournal entry, and when i slept i actually had a dream that i would remember! i can't remember much from it now, but i remember that i dreamt that my gf was a lingerie model... and the way that i found out was by flipping through a victoria's secret catalog. so that's what she's doing in italy... j/k! ;-) i have the most weirdest dreams...
well today i felt pretty confident about my work. graphics class was actually FUN. the professor talked about how art is represented with computers, how we can create non-photorealistic images. he talked about what aspects of art were stolen for use in computer graphics, and also how we can learn alot from artists about how to create an expressive scene. (ie. how there are 7 types of shadows which can each be rendered separately... cool huH?) our next assignment is to create a program which does hatching for shadows automatically. hatching is the parallel lines you draw for shadows, and cross-hatching makes those regions seem darker. i think this will be a big challenge, but if i get it done, it'll definitely make me appreciate art more!
of course, the big problem of creating art with computers is the dilemma of whether that art can be considered "real" art. i don't think i wanna delve into that question, but it's definitely worth considering. kind of like the difference between clicking a mouse and pushing keys on the keyboard, and actually moving your body and using your arm/hand/wrist/fingers to draw something. i think i'm trying to get at something but in my mind that's a huge difference between digital art and art.
i had engin, which i stayed awake in and was ok. i get to make a toaster this week using a real circuit board and everything. whee!
then i had florentine art which i enjoyed too! today's been full of enjoyment. the teacher talked about the duomo and the baptistry and the art surrounding those things, the competitions to create the statues and such, and when she started talking about the stories behind each piece, like brutelleschi's and ghibelli's (i have no idea if these names are right) sacrifice of isaac i got really into understanding the art work.
anyways, i think i'm gonna enjoy this semester more than i think. my stomach still hurts every so often, but hey, it's better than a heartache.
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2:55 am - quickie before bed
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so today wasn't so bad. i got worked up in the morning during va while drawing the nude model because i kept messing up and duh, obviously my mind thinks, gee if amelia were here she'd tell me what i'm doing wrong and i'd get better. ah well, i'm starting to face the reality that i won't see her all semester. i'm just hoping that we'll be able to get together this summer (if we're still together by then). anyways, the nude model turned out to be this old dude that's the model for like practically all the brown art classes. i saw a lot people painting him last year, and it was funny to see him in real life. for some reason, i was dumbfounded regarding the location of his dick... it was just... his crotch, it was BIG piece of flab.
i saw an episode of buffy with my friends. it was fun to watch. in this episode buffy worked in a fast food restaurant called double-meat burger. on a side note, i found it interesting that buffy gets fucked in every episode by spike (the vampire that can't attack). she was working at this fast-food restaurant and spike walks by non-chalantly with the look on his face, i need a fuck! then they do it in the back of the restaurant against the brick wall, meanwhile buffy has this plain look on her face. of course they were fully clothed. man how this series has gone... a reflection of my life. j/k! ;-)
today i also had a b-ball game with my team fueled by toufoo. no one new showed up, and those people who told me they were gonna show up never did. sad... we lost too. so i wondered what would have happened has they did show up.
later tonight i drew a full-length self-portrait of myself using charcoal. the charcoal got everywhere, and the dust go on my suitemate's water purifier. whoops. i wonder if the thing filters charcoal too. might explain why i get sick every so often. anyways, it was fun to do seeing that the picture turned out. it thought it would be crappy since my face didn't look like my face, and my body was kind of out of proportion. the worst part was drawing the arms, since i was moving them all the time because i was drawing. needless to say more, i think it came out ok in the end. well i should probably call it a night. it's 3 am and i need to sleep!
good night.
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| Wednesday, January 30th, 2002
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2:33 am - va10
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ahh, i forgot to mention that tommorrow in va10, my intro visual art class, we're gonna be doing contour drawings of a nude model! if it's a girl i hope she's hot. and if it's a guy, well, i hope he doesn't make me feel insecure. ;-)
time to sleep for real. =)
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2:02 am - another day
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so today i woke up before 8 am. i haven't been getting any good sleep lately. i talked to one of my friends who's been having trouble sleeping lately too, and he's "got it bad" for multiple girls. as he put it, it's like you get 4 hours of solid sleep when you're exhausted from having so much on your mind during the day, then the rest of the time you just wake up every so often not being able to fall back asleep for several minutes. so that's been how my sleep has been like for the past several days.
i had chinese oral discussion for the first time today, and i found out that i really don't understand what my teacher is saying like half the time, even though i should be able to pick up on it easily since my parents have been speaking chinese to me ever since, but even the non-chinese people can understand chinese better than me! oh well, unless i get my chinese into shape, then i'll never be able to improve.
after chinese oral i had cs224, the graphics class, the class which i have an assignment due in 22 hours and the assignment where there are only 9 computers total for a class of 20 people to work on it. some guy today got pissed off at me for walking into the lab and using the computer without signing up on their make-shift waitlist. i got to use the computer because there was actually a class going on at the time, and there was a free computer for me and a couple of my friends, so we took the remaining computers. i don't need someone getting pissed off at me for taking a computer when there's one for me. first-come first-serve basis right? i'm just trying to get my work done.
at noon i had engin, which i fell asleep in. the time passed by so quickly cuz i immediately entered rem and dreamt about amelia and i fooled myself into thinking she was there, but then i started snoring (and i could actually HEAR it while i was dozing in class). and i seriously thought i was taking notes at the time, but when i woke up i didn't have all the notes. but boy it was relaxing. i could pay attention in class after that rest... and i think it was the best rest i had in the past couple of days.
after engin i had florentine art. so i'm debating whether i should take this class or not. i'm taking it so i'll have some solid knowledge about florence when i go to italy for spring break. but i get all worked up thinking about how i'm just sitting in a classroom while amelia's looking around the REAL florence, enjoying all the architecture and walking about the beautiful city. and i get to stare at slides. woopee. at that point, i don't feel like taking the class anymore. but it IS interesting... and if amelia weren't going to florence, i'd totally be taking it. so basically, it's a matter of convincing myself that i should choose classes based on my own interests, rather than how other people make me feel about the class. don't know how to convince myself to think that way, but i'm gonna try.
so i talked to amelia over the phone for the second time since she left. i bought a phoencard online, hoping it would work and by golly willikers, it didn't work at all. i wasted 20 bucks on a phone card which was supposed to have a 24 cent/minute calling rate (yeah i know it's ass but dialing italy cell phones is ass expensive (why the hell did they get cell phones -- so gucci)). hopefully it'll work sometime in the future. anyways, i talked to her on the phone and i felt good and confident that things were going ok. but now, right now feeling how my heart feels and seeing how my mind is, i really don't feel that much better. i hope i get better though. it's tough being so far away... i'm not used to it yet.
right now my heart is aching, and i need to sleep... i hope i find solace soon. otherwise, who knows... i might need to seek help or talk to someone about it really soon. i really don't know whether my body should be reacting this way and whether i should be feeling this way mentally and physically. time will tell i guess...
i think i'm gonna read the hobbit now. i fell asleep while reading it yesterday... good snoozing book. ;-) good night all.
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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7:56 am - hard to sleep
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it's 8 am. normally, i would sleep forever. but things are on my mind and it's hard to get a decent's night of rest. it seems that time is passing by so slowly (at least these past few days). i woke up and my heart still felt achy. i don't know what to do about it. i feel ok at one moment, then later i start to think about my gf being away the entire semester then i get anxious again. i think i do it subconciously too. how am i ever gonna get through this semester at this rate? at this point i'm not sure. this is definitely affecting my performance at school. if i don't get this fixed up soon, i'm gonna get worried and it's a tumbling downward spiral that i might never get out of.
-rich
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| Monday, January 28th, 2002
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11:13 pm - back again...
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wowsers. i haven't written in this thing for nearly half a year. i seem to write in this most when i need a place to write down my feelings and sort things out. and when i want people to assure me that my feelings are normal. hell, i'm not even looking for anyone to respond to this, but with someone knowing how i feel right now, perhaps i'll feel better about myself.
so my gf's studying abroad this semester in florence. going there to study the arts and get accustomed to being independent in life. she's taking classes there like jewelry making, fashion design, italian, photography... fun stuff. i'm jealous. here i am, in rhode island (man this place is starting to get on my nerves), taking a bunch of classes that are gonna make me lose a bunch of brain cells. i can feel it already. for cs224, the advanced computer graphics class (which is grad level so practically everyone is ten times smarter and more disciplined than me), i head into the mslab to program on these pcs with xp and a geforce3 graphics card and i can feel the radiation and the humms eminating from the computers overwhelming me. but that's not just it. i'm stressed.
what am i stressed about? i don't really know exactly what it could be. you see, i haven't really had a chance to write in live journal for a reason. i haven't had time to spend by myself, to think things out by myself, to learn to live on my own. my gf's always around, and though it's not a bad thing, i guess i got too comfortable knowing that someone was always there to catch my mistakes and shortcomings. now that she's gone, i feel like i've lost a part of me... i felt this way at loveboat (taiwan study tour -- _not_ on an actual cruise line -- for those unfamiliar with the name), knowing that i wouldn't see her beautiful eyes and cute face, touch her hair, hold her, smell her greasy hair that hadn't been washed for days. now i feel it again. the heavy feeling in my heart that makes me feel like i'm gonna keel over the moment that someone decides to scare me. or the difficulty to concentrate because i'm daydreaming... or thinking about what my gf's doing in florence.
it's difficult... i feel like she's having the time of her life and i'm stuck here in ugly rhode island _getting through_ the "task" of a tough semester. i know she loves me and won't forget me, but for some reason i'm jealous that she can't share it with me. that's it... i figured out what it was.
-rich
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| Monday, June 4th, 2001
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2:42 am - night rollerblading
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i just got back from night rollerblading. i left my house about 20 min ago to rollerblade outside on my street. my heart was pounding cuz i didn't want to wake up my parents. and i don't think i did... but i was out there for a good 10 min or so and it was soo quiet in my house and outside.
i rolled down the path from my front door to the street and noticed the road was particularly slick, still from the rain earlier in the day. the weather was nice, a cool 62 degrees, and so there i was in t-shirt and khakis wearing my k2s. i rollerbladed down the path and bumped into some trees on the way as the slated rocks gave me a surface to roll down to the street. i could barely see anything cuz it was so dark, and the street lights didn't provide much to the visibility of the road. i look to my right and saw a huge near full moon. the sky was only partly cloudy, and i started to get freaked out. for some reason all my instincts that i had as a little kid came out and i suddenly panicked. but i wanted to do this, and i wanted to see how freaked out i could get. so i started rollerblading down the street toward tufts rd and all my other senses were amplified. i could hear the swooshing of my rollerblades in the wet pavement, the sounds of the insects chirping and buzzing, the leftover rain falling on the leaves, and the wind. the houses made noises too, with air conditioners and really really weird pulsing sounds coming from everywhere. that really freaked me out. as i rounded the turn toward tufts i got too scared to go any further... i really couldn't see anything, and i thought i saw someone standing in the darkness! ok, so i'm starting to hallucinate, maybe it's because i'm so tired... so i rollerbladed back, and the pulsating sounds started coming back, now starting to come like horns... kind of freaky, and headed straight toward the direction of the moon. it seemed to loom over me, actually everything seemed to loom over me. rollerblading finally back to the house, i opened the door, fumbling my keys a couple of times. and finally got in. my heart was pounding a bit and i was jolted a good few times out there. that was fun! i can't wait to get to the point when i won't be affected at all when i rollerblade by myself outside past midnight... when will that day come? well that's it for now. bye!
-rich
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| Tuesday, March 20th, 2001
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2:54 pm - spring is here!
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well spring is here. the weather rocks. i love it. i'm so tired of going to classes and i can't wait for next week. spring break baby! anyways...
i've been pretty busy lately. i've been preoccupied with spending time with my gf, and i spend so much time with her! i don't think there's been one moment during the day when that we haven't been together as long as we can be together. the only downside to this is that it forces me to devote less time to my other friends... but things are going so well.
well i can't wait for spring break. it's gonna be so fun! i'm typing this during my cs lecture... as many of you know, i'm in the sunlab right now. stupid lecture, i'm not even paying attention. ha ha ha. that's it for now. bye!
-rich
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| Tuesday, February 20th, 2001
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1:16 pm - ...
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if i could freeze a moment of my life, it would have been last night... god i'm happy. things are starting to go my way.
-rich
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